What the heck is a suburban sadhu?
Just like anybody else on a journey of self-discovery and spiritual awakening, I’ve worn a lot of hats and continue to evolve through identities. Son, brother, anxious & insecure teenager, lost soul in active addiction, person in early recovery, person in long term recovery, college student, college professor, addiction counselor, uncle, godfather, spiritual seeker, meditation practitioner, world traveler, and the list goes on. Ultimately, it’s a fool’s errand to try and define who or what I/We truly am/are, but more recently I’m really resonating with this idea of being a suburban sadhu.
A sadhu is essentially a wandering holy man, someone who’s renounced the material world in favor of a more spiritually-oriented existence. Now I’m definitely not claiming some fully realized or enlightened status by any means (I have significant attachments to air conditioning, Wi-Fi, and a variety of silly ideas about myself and the world… and that’s just the tip of the iceberg). But what I am very clear about is that I belong to the Beloved. I’m in service to the Collective. I work for God. I am an instrument of the Divine. I report directly to the Universe. I am in the employ of Great Spirit. However you want to say it, this is what I’m about. My gig is helping folks understand, accept, and appreciate themselves so they can radiate peace and acceptance out into the world.
Something else that’s been made abundantly clear over the years is that no matter how much I evolve or how spiritual I get, I’m not shedding my suburban roots. I was born and raised in central New Jersey on mainstream American culture, competitive team sports, fast food, dial-up modems, and the golden age of rap & hip-hop. I have a certain flavor to my being, which I’ve grown to appreciate. This wasn’t always the case though. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy in my life trying to be anything other than myself and creating a lot of pain and suffering because of it.
Nowadays, I have a lot more acceptance for the big ole bag of contradictions that I am. And as a result, life is a lot easier. I’m a work in progress AND a masterpiece. I have my flaws AND I’m also fundamentally awesome. I can be super generous one moment, and then super petty the next. I’m a divine spiritual being having a suburban-flavored human experience. Or as I’ve come to refer to myself, I’m a suburban sadhu. I’m just as likely to be binging the latest Netflix show as I am to be on a meditation retreat in India or an Ayahasuca retreat in Peru. I can get just as passionate talking about self-realization and non-duality as the NBA and NFL. Depending on the day, I might be nursing a resentment or nodding in samadhi. Life has become this wild adventure and I’m continually learning how to lean into the mystery and trust the universe in new and deeper ways.
One last thing that I’ll share with you which I’ve learned about myself, is that I usually show up in people’s lives when they’re about to “level up” or make a big change. Over and over again, I meet folks when they’re at a crossroads or on the precipice of some kind of transformation. As a result, I’ve come to understand myself as a “ferryman” or guide, who helps folks move from where they’ve been to where they’re going. And I’m pretty well-suited for the gig, almost like life & the universe has been preparing me for this exact role ;)